Happy Birthday Ashley!

I love you, honey. I know I don't write it down every time I think of you ... I find it easier sometimes to distract myself so it doesn't hurt as bad. Besides, I wouldn't have time to do much else if I did :)

You're eleven today. Wow! Eleven ... you had just turned three when I last saw you.

It still hurts that you're gone .. all the time. I trust that our Lord knows what He is doing (do you know Him?)

I hope you had a good time on your Day! I remember your first one. Right after you were born the doctors put you on mommy's chest. After she loved on you for a minute, it was my turn .. and when I held you and looked down, you looked up at me and smiled. The nurse had never seen a newborn smile before. Neither had I! You were so beautiful. I think there is (was) a picture of me holding you at that moment somewhere. Maybe your mom has it. I have a few pictures, but not enough. They're all 8 years old, anyway. I'd sure love to see how you look now.

I sure hope to see you soon. Everyone tells me that kids want to know who their real parents are and start asking questions. Do you ever wonder? Have you started asking questions? I pray for you all the time, sweetie. I pray for your Mom, too. Don't think I have any hard feelings against her. She did what she thought was best at the time. Some things are hard to let go of.

I can't wait for the day I get a letter or a call or a face to face from you (oh, how I wait for that day .. is it tomorrow?)

I love you with all the love a father can have for a child.
Love,
your Dad