Anxiety in my eyes ... a blessing in disguise?

This economy is affecting everything. I've been worried sick for the last few weeks wondering if I'm going to have a job in the near future. I know for a fact that it's going to come down to one of two people .. one of them is me, and one is a veteran.

I don't know how this company is in regards to loyalty, and if that's their only stipulation, then I'm the next one to go. But if they take bang for the buck, then the wise choice would be to keep me. They know this, too, so it will be clear which way they lean when the decision's made. And if they keep Jack, I would respect that. Loyalty to a company's employees is a virtuous thing.

The blessing in disguise from all this is that the Lord has revealed to me where my own loyalties lie. I've been so anxious over this because I don't truly believe that the LORD is my provision. I believe it is my job -- and more specifically, my own labor. I've prayed for forgiveness from this sin, and know that He is faithful and just to forgive me of this sin and cleanse me from it (1 John 1.9). So in a sense, I'm grateful for this. I don't know if this lesson is going to be enough, or if God has more to reveal to me through a layoff, but I'm willing to suffer through it, if it will yield the fruit of righteousness.

This morning, I read a Grace Gem that was perfectly timed (I act surprised ...), and I'm going to share it here. While I believe this letter from John Newton to be speaking more of physical affliction, mental afflictions are just as precarious. And God can sympathize with the weaknesses of our flesh (Hebrews 4.15), for He Himself became flesh and made His dwelling with men (John 1.14). Praise God for His faithfulness!

Then they hiss and spit their venom!

(Letters of John Newton)

"I know, O Lord, that Your laws are righteous, and in faithfulness You have afflicted me!" Psalm 119:75

"God disciplines us for our good--that we may share in His holiness." Hebrews 12:10

In Scripture, we read much concerning the emptiness, vanity and uncertainty of the present world.

When our minds are enlightened by the Holy Spirit--then we receive and acknowledge what His Word declares to be truth. Yet if we remain long without changes and trials, and when our path is very smooth--we are for the most part but faintly affected with what we profess to believe. But when some of our dearest friends die, or we ourselves are brought low with pain and sickness--then we not only say, but feel that this world must not, cannot be our rest!

We know by experience, that though afflictions in themselves are not joyous--but grievous--yet in due season they yield the peaceful fruits of righteousness. Various are the blessed fruits which afflictions produce:

By affliction, prayer is quickened--for our prayers are very apt to grow languid and formal in a time of ease.

Affliction greatly helps us to understand the Scriptures, especially the promises; most of which are made to times of trouble. We cannot so well know their fullness, sweetness and certainty--as when we have been in the situation to which they are suited, have been enabled to trust and plead them, and found them fulfilled in our own case.

We are usually indebted to affliction--as the means or occasion of the most signal discoveries we are favored with--of the wisdom, power, and faithfulness of the Lord. These are best observed by the evident proofs we have--that He is near to support us under trouble, and that He can and does deliver us out of it.

Likewise, many of our graces cannot thrive or manifest themselves, without trials--such as resignation, patience, meekness and long-suffering. Strength of grace is not ordinarily acquired by those who sit still and live at ease.

Afflictions do us good likewise, as they make us more acquainted with what is in our own hearts, and thereby promote humiliation and self-abasement. There are abominations which, like nests of vipers, lie so quietly within our hearts, that we hardly suspect they are there--until the rod of affliction rouses them! Then they hiss and spit their venom! This discovery is indeed very distressing--yet, until it is made, we are prone to think ourselves much less vile than we really are, and cannot so heartily abhor ourselves and repent in dust and ashes.

I must write a sermon rather than a letter--if I would enumerate all the good fruits which, by the power of sanctifying grace, are produced from this bitter tree of affliction!

While we have such a depraved nature, and live in such a polluted world; while the roots of pride, vanity, self-dependence and self-seeking, are so strong within us--we need a variety of sharp afflictions to keep us from cleaving to the dust!

"Before I was afflicted I went astray--but now I obey Your Word." Psalm 119:67